An Inspiring Video:

http://youtu.be/zhAP7qWCBAg

Struggle On It.

When I read this, there's one part that really stands out to me:

STRUGGLE ON IT. 

Reaching your personal goals isn't easy.

 It shouldn't be easy. 

I'm sure you've heard this many times:

 If your dreams seem realistic they're not big enough. 

Not to say that reaching your goals is impossible. 

IT IS VERY POSSIBLE. 

But I think it's important to set goals that do seem a little impossible. 

That way, when you reach them, you will GROW as a person. 

With 2015 coming up, you know you'll be setting new goals (whether you want to or not).

Make sure they're goals that will make you grow as a person. 

Make sure that when you reach those goals, you will be impressed and proud of yourself. 

Make sure they're goals that you have to STRUGGLE on. 

If it was easy, everyone would do it. 

Oh Hey...

    Oh hey... I almost forgot you existed. hahaha just kidding I've been meaning to blog for a long time but I feel like I'm never home for long enough to sit down and type! So... Here is an update. The last show I did was the NGA show in October. I had so much fun and I ended up placing 1st in my height class and 1st place Overall Novice! I was really happy.. but at the same time it made me really want to do more and work harder and do some shows out of Utah. I wrote a post about it that you can go read: TBH
    Anyway... I was in that rut for a while. I was feeling so burnt out and having a really hard time getting to the gym. I'm telling you... competing it super draining!! I was in that rut through the end of October and all the way through November and even the beginning of December!! I still would go to the gym about twice a week but I dreaded it every time. I hated going and I would force myself. On the days I didn't go I felt so guilty. I wasn't eating right either. I hated eating because I was sick of all my healthy food and I was too lazy to meal prep. I still was eating deece healthy but not nearly enough. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago when a really good friend of mine gave me a talk. He told me that I'm one in a million. That fitness isn't for everyone and that I inspire people. He told me that I've inspired him and he told me to look at how far I've come in the last year. It was super sweet and it was exactly what I needed to hear to get up and moving again.
    Sometimes I'm too hard on myself when it comes to fitness and I sometimes feel like I'm not pushing hard enough and I start to think that what I'm doing will never be good enough. I'm so focused on wanting to help other people and wanting to set huge goals... that I sometimes forget why I started in the first place. I forget that I'm doing this for myself because I absolutely love it and I'm so passionate about it. If it starts to become a chore for me, there's no point anymore. So I changed my mindset. Now I'm focusing on doing ONLY what I want to do at the gym. I'm not following a training program right now. I needed a little break from it. Just to focus on whatever I want to do in that moment. So now when I go to the gym... I only do exercises that sound nice to me right then. It has helped me a lot. I still try to focus either on upper body or lower body in one day... I never do full body. It has really been helping me to be able to focus on what I feel my body needs. And then I can focus on different muscle groups in the same area, and really FEEL each one. My routine I was on before was great, but I just needed a change for a bit.
    My eating hasn't been the best, but it's a lot better than it was a couple weeks ago. Trying not to eat many carbs or fats. I still need to work on eating more everyday though. But I'm trying not to deprive myself too much. And the less I think of it as "depriving myself," the less I want to eat the bad stuff and the more I just want to eat the healthy stuff that makes me feel good. That's how it should always be... but I started to feel like I was forced to workout and forced to eat healthy. Now I'm doing it because I choose to!! I'll try to keep this page updated but.. you know I struggle hahah. I plan to compete next in May at the Emerald Cup. The goal is to put on some muscle between now and then and then dial in real tight right before the show :) Thanks for readin!

NGA October 2014 Professional Pix

NPC October 2014 Professional Pix

TBH

TBH:

Alright I'm gonna be real here for a second. 

To Be Honest....

I have competed in 5 different body building competitions in the past 7 months. 

They all have been incredible and I've loved it more than anything. I've learned so much in this past year, it's crazy. But one of those things I've learned is that this sport is HARD. It's so hard on your self esteem. If you're not careful, it could definitely get the best of you. 

After each competition, I start to feel depressed. I think it probably happens to a lot of competitors. For starters, IT IS UNREALISTIC TO LOOK THE WAY YOU DO ON COMPETITION DAY, YEAR ROUND. Ya. It's not gonna happen. You're going to gain weight after the show. Hopefully healthy weight. Hopefully it's mostly water weight since you're body has been completely dried out for at least 24 hours. But it SUCKS. It sucks to touch your stomach and feel that extra layer (of water and a little fat), that you did not have the day before. It really sucks. It sucks to see yourself a little bit puffier than you were the last couple weeks. 

 I want to be able to relax and eat what I want for a while, because that's all I've thought about for the past 4 months. But then when it comes down to it, none of the junk I've eaten has been worth the calories, the guilt, or the stomach ache. It's a good thing in a way, because it means that I've formed healthy, permanent habits. But, it's hard to feel so guilty after eating "normal" food. THIS IS HOW EATING DISORDERS DEVELOP. Listen. If you compete, or if you plan to compete, you have to be confident. Even after the show. And you have to be careful. You can't let yourself start to feel too guilty or depressed. You can't get discouraged when you see the weight you've put back on. It seriously is such a slippery slope. I'm telling you this, because the more you mentally prepare yourself for it, the less likely you are to develop an eating disorder. I'm serious. I didn't think it would happen to me. I knew that I would gain weight after my shows from the very beginning. I don't have an eating disorder, but I find myself having thoughts about eating that I've never had before. Like... "if I eat this pizza, I shouldn't eat anything tomorrow." Then I'm like.. "TIARA WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!!!?!?!? you're FINE!!"

It's also hard because I want to give my body a bit of a break in the gym... but I feel so guilty if I take a day off, or if I don't have a three hour long workout. Because that's what I'm used to. I start to think about all the things that I need to improve on. Especially after taking 1st place. It only made me want to work 10x harder and look 10x better. I start to think about how I want to look for my next show. But I don't even know when my next show will be. Then I start to feel like I want to do more, push harder, do bigger things, get myself out there in the world. I want to start helping and inspiring people EVERYWHERE. not just here in Utah. Then I start to feel stuck. Then I start to panic. 

So here's the thing. This post isn't meant to be depressing. I'm telling you this for all of the people that are thinking about competing. It's hard. Here's my advice to you and mostly to myself:

SET GOALS. Set big goals. Set specific goals that you can work toward, so you feel like you have a purpose. 

MARK YOUR CALENDAR with important dates so you HAVE to work hard.

TRACK YOUR PROGRESS. Write it down. And take pictures, people!!! Even when you feel like crap. you'll be glad later on. 

STAY MOTIVATED. I spend hours on instagram and youtube, getting inspired by women (and men) who started from the bottom. and ya, I know the song just played in your mind. heheh

ENJOY YOURSELF. It's okay to have a cheat meal a week. or maybe even two. Don't beat yourself up. 

Most importantly:

LET THESE FEELINGS FUEL YOUR FIRE, INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT OUT.

Don't compare yourself to the other women. 

And when you look at pictures of yourself, think of how far you've come. 

Don't think of how far you have to go, think of what you can do NOW. 

THERE IS NO OFF SEASON. 

To me, it's the most important time to really focus on those goals.

LETS GET IT. 

NGA October 2014

Ahhhhhh!!!! Suuuuch a fun show for me!! I took 1st place in my class (medium bikini novice) and 1st place Overall Bikini Novice!!!!!! I can't believe it!! I feel so so so blessed. I felt like I had a great team behind me. I had my mom to help me backstage (and with EVERYTHING leading up to the show), I had Tamara Watt to teach me posing, nutrition, training, how to be graceful, and everything in between, and I had Krissy Wolfe to do my tan, hook me up with a bikini (the red was a last minute decision a couple minutes before the show and I think it was my favorite one yet!), keep me pumped up backstage and give me pep talks! Not only that, but I have my FCDB team supporting me. Plus, I get to compete with one of my best friends (Hannah Gregory) and I had a lot of my friends (and my brother) in the audience cheering me on. This show was unreal. I am so happy. Taking first place just motivates me to be more than I am. This is only the beginning for me. Not sure what show I want to do next, but I know that bigger and better things are coming. 

There is no off season for me. Just maybe a liiiiittle less intense. :) 

LET'S GET IT, BABY!!!!  

You know what time it is ;) 

I think this picture pretty much sums up how I feel backstage. Hahah soo nervous and focused. 

These pep talks from Krissy are great. 

Tamara and Jeremy Watt. Save Fitness Utah 

Nope not in pain. No, not nauseous. Just getting my suit glued to me. hahaha thanks for holding my bum, Hane. 

Some of my amazing team! Hannah, Krissy, and Tami! 

nervously clapping for the girls before me. hahaha