TBH

TBH:

Alright I'm gonna be real here for a second. 

To Be Honest....

I have competed in 5 different body building competitions in the past 7 months. 

They all have been incredible and I've loved it more than anything. I've learned so much in this past year, it's crazy. But one of those things I've learned is that this sport is HARD. It's so hard on your self esteem. If you're not careful, it could definitely get the best of you. 

After each competition, I start to feel depressed. I think it probably happens to a lot of competitors. For starters, IT IS UNREALISTIC TO LOOK THE WAY YOU DO ON COMPETITION DAY, YEAR ROUND. Ya. It's not gonna happen. You're going to gain weight after the show. Hopefully healthy weight. Hopefully it's mostly water weight since you're body has been completely dried out for at least 24 hours. But it SUCKS. It sucks to touch your stomach and feel that extra layer (of water and a little fat), that you did not have the day before. It really sucks. It sucks to see yourself a little bit puffier than you were the last couple weeks. 

 I want to be able to relax and eat what I want for a while, because that's all I've thought about for the past 4 months. But then when it comes down to it, none of the junk I've eaten has been worth the calories, the guilt, or the stomach ache. It's a good thing in a way, because it means that I've formed healthy, permanent habits. But, it's hard to feel so guilty after eating "normal" food. THIS IS HOW EATING DISORDERS DEVELOP. Listen. If you compete, or if you plan to compete, you have to be confident. Even after the show. And you have to be careful. You can't let yourself start to feel too guilty or depressed. You can't get discouraged when you see the weight you've put back on. It seriously is such a slippery slope. I'm telling you this, because the more you mentally prepare yourself for it, the less likely you are to develop an eating disorder. I'm serious. I didn't think it would happen to me. I knew that I would gain weight after my shows from the very beginning. I don't have an eating disorder, but I find myself having thoughts about eating that I've never had before. Like... "if I eat this pizza, I shouldn't eat anything tomorrow." Then I'm like.. "TIARA WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!!!?!?!? you're FINE!!"

It's also hard because I want to give my body a bit of a break in the gym... but I feel so guilty if I take a day off, or if I don't have a three hour long workout. Because that's what I'm used to. I start to think about all the things that I need to improve on. Especially after taking 1st place. It only made me want to work 10x harder and look 10x better. I start to think about how I want to look for my next show. But I don't even know when my next show will be. Then I start to feel like I want to do more, push harder, do bigger things, get myself out there in the world. I want to start helping and inspiring people EVERYWHERE. not just here in Utah. Then I start to feel stuck. Then I start to panic. 

So here's the thing. This post isn't meant to be depressing. I'm telling you this for all of the people that are thinking about competing. It's hard. Here's my advice to you and mostly to myself:

SET GOALS. Set big goals. Set specific goals that you can work toward, so you feel like you have a purpose. 

MARK YOUR CALENDAR with important dates so you HAVE to work hard.

TRACK YOUR PROGRESS. Write it down. And take pictures, people!!! Even when you feel like crap. you'll be glad later on. 

STAY MOTIVATED. I spend hours on instagram and youtube, getting inspired by women (and men) who started from the bottom. and ya, I know the song just played in your mind. heheh

ENJOY YOURSELF. It's okay to have a cheat meal a week. or maybe even two. Don't beat yourself up. 

Most importantly:

LET THESE FEELINGS FUEL YOUR FIRE, INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT OUT.

Don't compare yourself to the other women. 

And when you look at pictures of yourself, think of how far you've come. 

Don't think of how far you have to go, think of what you can do NOW. 

THERE IS NO OFF SEASON. 

To me, it's the most important time to really focus on those goals.

LETS GET IT.